25/52 - The 52 Project

Hi everyone,

I couldn't choose between these two images this week. The first was taken earlier in the week, of my amazingly intelligent big boy, connecting the word puzzle game he plays over and over with real life. Sooo cute. And the second is my amazingly energetic big boy, literally climbing the walls at my prenatal checkup this morning. I am just in awe of this tiny ball of constant movement and noise that we created together, who amazes us on an hourly basis, and brightens the day of everyone around him with his contagious delight and joy.

I am in the last few days of my pregnancy, and I am grateful for my overwhelming peace and serenity, and for the delightfulness of this darling almost-3-year-old boy.

"A portrait of my son once a week, every week in 2014."

Teague Jackson, you bring this hugely pregnant mama so much joy. I'm so glad you're ours. 

24/52 - The 52 Project

Hello everyone,

So, I finally pulled out my DSLR this week, and I was just so glad I did.

"A portrait of my son once a week, every week in 2014."

Today, we took a nice long walk through all the intimately familiar places in our tiny, much-loved little town. Our beautiful friend Abbie came along with us, one of the only people who feels the same about our gorgeous town as I do. She feels the magic. I loved watching you soak it all in, my sweet boy. Even if you were in a balky, cranky mood almost the whole time :). I can't wait to walk all our favorite routes with your tiny baby brother in my arms and not in my belly. I know he'll love it all as much as we do. 

23/52 - The 52 Project

Hello everyone,

I know, I know, I am just so late this week! Our sweet tiny Vincent is due to join us in just two short weeks, and my nesting has kicked in hardcore! I have never experienced such tunnel vision, nor such surges of intense energy and motivation to clean, organize, purge, scrub, wash, and sanitize everything in every room of our house! And, when I'm not nesting like a crazy person, I am cranking out project after project from my sewing machine, serger, and crochet hook! I spend the rest of my time cuddling and (probably weirdly) staring at my darling Teague (never have I felt more urgency to just drink him in), watching hilarious and amazing shows on Netflix with my adorable husband, and...sleeping. Or at least trying to sleep. Sleep is extremely elusive these days. I try to look at it as preparation for all the sleepless days and nights ahead of me :D.

Anyway, all that to say, I am late, but I'm delighted I am here, writing right now. Still hanging in there with this project! It's been wonderful to actually stick with something creative. Amazing for this fledgling artist's self-esteem :).

This week's photo is, sadly, another phone camera photo, but when I look at it, I remember how I felt about my son that day. How I simultaneously felt like laughing and sobbing all day long. How it felt to be so proud of my baby that it literally hurt my chest. How it felt to be so happy to be out in the summer sunshine, browsing slowly through our gorgeous town's annual art fair, to be watching my big boy blissfully darting and dashing and dancing and grinning and exclaiming with unbridled joy at everything, to be spending time with adored friends and their precious baby, and to be feeling my sweet Vincent's feet and elbows and tiny body shifting around inside me, as much a part of my day as the already-born people around me. The past few years have been difficult ones for me. In so many innumerable ways. But just this year, just this beautiful, crazy, insane, change-filled year, I've been seeing the fruits of my struggles. And I've been feeling joy. And I'm just so grateful.

"A portrait of my son once a week, every week in 2014."

Teague Jackson, you make this mama so proud. 

22/52 - The 52 Project

Hello,

So, I have really tried to make a habit of pulling out my DSLR at least once a week to take these portraits. But I am also trying to be realistic! I knew this year was going to be one of the busiest of our lives, and also filled with the most change, but these were the exact reasons I started this project in the first place! I am so painfully aware that these years are fleeting. That all too soon these years of raising and making babies will be over. So it suddenly felt so necessary to do *something* to help me focus, something to help me stop and look and see and feel what it's like to be right here, right now. Smelling a disgusting diaper that needs changed as my son leans his warm body against my arm, feeling my darling baby's tiny feet shift against my ribs as he sleeps peacefully in my womb, and hearing Finding Nemo in the background as I hurry to write a somewhat meaningful and coherent post for this week. These days are precious. They're fleeting. And even though the change to come will be being able to see and stroke and squeeze my baby's tiny feet *outside* my womb, and from changing a large toddler's messy diapers to days of pull-ups and racing to the potty and promises of Spider-man underwear (both extremely welcome changes!!), taking time to enjoy the now is just irreplaceably important. 

So. With all that in mind, here is a grainy, ill-composed candid shot that sums up our now of this week. My wonderful and adorable husband, exhausted from work and woodworking and life, still trying to squeeze in moments with our sweet son. My beautiful son, with his chubby fingers in his sleeping Daddy's beard and tiny toes curling and uncurling, impressing both of us with his aptitude for Preschool-age learning games on our iPad. Our dilapidated and food-stained futon that has served us so well for many more years than any futon ever should. In our tiny, cramped rental home that simultaneously drives us crazy and keeps us afloat financially. This is our now, and I think it's just beautiful.

"A portrait of my son once a week, every week in 2014."

I adore you both.