The 52 Project - 13/52

Spring is finally here!! We're still not sure it's not just toying with us, but we will fully embrace any hints at warmth and sunshine. My little boy just couldn't resist the huge circle of ice still floating in his baby pool on our porch. Yes, it's pink. But it was cheap ;).

"A portrait of my son once a week, every week in 2014."

So, I absolutely could not decide between these two images. The sunlight, your ridiculously fluffy blonde hair, the gorgeous pout of those lips. I find myself taking more and more photos of you lately, as I watch your baby-ness just slipping away. I'm so unbelievably proud of what a sweet and wonderful little boy you're turning into, but I'm grieving for the baby you used to be. Thankfully, you still love to climb up on mommy's (rapidly shrinking) lap and throw those chubby arms around my neck and press those downy soft cheeks against mine. You make this mommy so happy.

The 52 Project - 12/52

Well, it snowed this morning. This mommy was not happy. This lil boy was unfazed.

"A portrait of my son once a week, every week in 2014."

Teague Jackson, I absolutely love when you sit on the couch like a big person. You climbed up there yourself, tucked your little foot under, and delightedly watched some Toy Story. We've had a rough couple of weeks, you and I. Mommy is just so tired and sore and pregnant, and you are...well, you're two, my darling. Tomorrow you officially turn two and a half, and you're simultaneously furiously pushing mommy away with both tiny hands and ferociously and shockingly loudly clinging to me at the least suggestion of separation. All day, every day. We can spend an entire day at odds with each other, and when the time finally comes when daddy gets home and mommy can escape for a few moments of peace, you still fling yourself down in a screaming, crying heap of protest, sobbing out, "Mommy!" in the most pitiful, broken-hearted tones I've ever heard in my life. I both love and hate this stage, my baby. I get so excited capturing shots like this one though, just to freeze you in time. To freeze you in that pose, completely natural and relaxed, and YOU. Still-tiny toddler toes, pudgy, puffy baby hands, but such a big-boy pose on that couch. No matter what, I adore you, Teague Jackson, and I love being your mommy.

The 52 Project - 11/52

I am so excited that this week's photo is outside!! We are daring to hope that the horrible subzero temperatures that have been relentlessly plaguing us might actually be gone for good! Crossing our fingers!! 

"A portrait of my son once a week, every week in 2014."

Teague, my darling boy. I finally bought you a pair of rain boots, so of course, the moment the temperature rose to 40 degrees, we had to go try them out in your very first mud puddle! I loved that at first, you just ran through the sloshing ground, back and forth, over and over. But then you had an inspiration, a moment that connected you with millions of children and mud puddles before you, and you started jumping and stomping and dancing in that mud puddle. No one had to show you how, no one said a word. You just knew. I just couldn't believe how...kid-like you are becoming. How few traces of that chubby baby are left, and how proud I am, just watching you grow. 

The 52 Project - 10/52

Hello All,

Once again, I am posting a bit late. Life is just...busy these days. But truly, this is exactly why I wanted to commit to this project. These crazy days of being a mommy to an almost-2 1/2-year-old, and being 6 months pregnant with his already so precious little brother. Of rearranging our tiny rental house for what seems like the 20th time to make just a little bit more space to accommodate our newest baby boy. Of delightedly buying fabric to make this little guy crib sheets, swaddling blankets, baby pants, baby toys and pillows. Of trying to balance my two part-time jobs with soaking up these last months of having only one baby boy to cuddle, and spending time with my sweet husband before our newest tiny being takes over our lives with his endlessly demanding presence. Of mountains of laundry, endless piles of dishes, crumb-infested carpets, seemingly daily spilled drinks and dumped bowls of food. Of kitchen floors in desperate need of mopping, of multiple full trash bags sitting by the door for days on end, of a curious 2-year-old boy who ignores his baskets full of toys, boxes full of books, and piles of favorite DVDs, to touch and inspect and usually break and/or ruin everything in our home that isn't his. Of constant moments of teaching, molding, disciplining, and just...living life with a toddler who is growing up much too quickly. Of near-constant worry over the impending transition from one baby to two. Of trying so hard to live in the moment in this absolutely chaotic, but achingly sweet and horribly fleeting stage of our lives.

"A portrait of my son once a week, every week in 2014." 

This week's portrait is a grainy phone camera photo. But I was so delighted to finally capture you and your sweet love for your baby brother that I felt it was well worth posting. This is what you do when I'm lying on the couch and ask you where you baby brother is. You pull up my shirt, lay your head on my belly, and stroke and pat it with oh-so-uncharacteristic gentleness. Your little brother seems to sense your closeness, and wiggles and kicks and squirms more than any other time. It's hard to believe that I will have two babies in less than three months, but moments like these give me hope for beautiful moments between the two of you in the years to come that will more than outweigh the times of chaos. I love you both, and simply cannot wait to see what this next stage will bring for our little family.

The 52 Project - 9/52

Hello all,

This week, I decided to post three portraits of my boy. The first two are blurry and imperfect, the last about as good as it gets with me behind the camera :). I decided to post the first two as well, as they show me the joy my baby just exudes. I don't understand how a tiny being can be so full of joy...it seems like he just has to be bigger than his 34 pounds, 38 inches. He just fills a room with his uninhibited glee. Though his dark moods are equally as potent, and though the sound of his delighted little voice, happily chattering away with a beloved stuffed animal at 2am is the last thing I want to hear when I am trying so desperately to grasp at the few precious hours of sleep my insomnia-plagued pregnant body will allow me, it still amazes me how quickly a tiny 2-year-old's joy can lift this mommy's mood. His joy is powerful, and I can't express how grateful I am that he is here with me.

"A portrait of my son once a week, every week in 2014."

All I can say this week is that I love you, darling boy. You amaze me every single day.